SHORT REVIEW: There are vampires, there are giant drooling half-man/half-dogs and plenty of overacting. In these respects, it’s a little like being at an Oscar party.
I have a few notes to all of Hollywood. If you’re going to insist on making sequels, please do these three things:

1. Make sequels for films that actually are worthy of being continued. My preference is that only stories that can be logically extended or explored be the ones that receive further treatment. That’s just how I roll.

2. When you make your sequel, have it make sense on its own. I have the mental capacity of road kill but even I understand that its best to not assume your audience has already digested and memorized your first film.

3. Make every effort to see that your sequel doesn’t suck. Again, this is just how I roll. I like movies that don’t make me want to rub soap in my eyes. I’m silly that way.

From the beginning it should have been obvious to the producers that making this particular sequel was as logical as having a team of artists custom paint an atomic bomb. There’s a great deal of delicate work to be done but when the thing is released, no one is going to see the fruits of the labor.

I was impressed with the original film Underworld. It did a surprisingly competent job of maintaining a story of warring vampires and werewolves. I’m not instinctually wary of this concept (although I probably should be.) As far as overly stylized popcorn movies are concerned, Underworld fit the bill. This sequel doesn’t even fit the screen.